Charmer

Let us discuss the appeal of the charmer: that effervescent man; that figure that you feel begrudged to give recognition to- until you fall under his spell yourself.

There is a spirit that infuses his words. A gentle kindness behind his smile. A warmth of acceptance.

What does he do? He brings out the hopes and dreams; he waters the wilted plants of fantasies. He nourishes the injured bird of freedom- he heals it, then he lets it fly.

He knows that humans are social creatures: they yearn for acceptance. But only accept it from one they love or respect.

He earns that respect. He asks for it with his gentle words and strong demeanor. Then he thanks her- by giving her warmth and love- he gives it to thank her for her respect. He asks that she give him her undivided attention, and he moulds that attention, returning it to her so he may better her.

Why would he do such a thing? I don't know. Why would I do such a thing? I'd love to create poetry, the sort of thing that Keats and Shakespeare and Byron wrote. I want to soar on the highs that Wordsworth flew- I want to frolic; I want to be giddy. I want the heady thrill of birthing a smile. Every time I meet somebody new I think, maybe she can help me?

I am always looking for that one who can help me get higher.

When she asks- Why do I say that? What about her makes me think she could be the one? I don't know. It's just a feeling. But I want to find out. That's the whole point. I want to spend more time with her.

Grudging Recognition

People tend to give these guys only grudging recognition. Why? It's because deep down, they are jealous. They wish they had the confidence. They feel they can be as popular and well liked- but only if they had the confidence.

Often they are bitter, because they want to be charmed themselves. They are bitter- why should others be charmed, or charming? Who will look after the bitters' wellbeing?

However- the general people also consider themselves fair- so they will only give whole hearted support if the charmer is flawless. If he is a god embodied. But really- is anyone so perfect? No- not at all. They are human after all.

So the normal person picks up on the slightest flaw, magnifies it, and labels the Charmer as a wannabe. A tryhard.

How does one persuade that? How does one convert such a devout hater? By making that person the object of your attention. Go over, melt them with a few soft words, and they will be your greatest fans. They will now see your smallest accomplishments as sagas worthy of epics.

How to start Charming

There are a few ways you can start. First of all, you have to realize that this is your world. Your space. Your room, your house, your office, your school, your library, your gym. All your space. You have to reach deep within you to find so much acceptance, that not only is it enough to feed your needs, but it will also feed others'. Once you've done that, you walk out the door, and you stand tall. And you give everybody your acceptance. You look at them and smile and say "Hey, you know what. I know you're flawed. But I also know that you have wonderful qualities. Your lovely hat for instance. You obviously have good taste to choose to wear that."

You stop people in their path, and you manipulate that frown, or that gnawing self doubt; and take that energy and you polish the tarnished and oxidized medals and trophies that she has locked away in her closet of self confidence. You direct the energy of the self doubt to make them glow.

But first you need the key to open that closet! How do you open that closet? You have to listen to her words. She will give you parts of the jigsaw puzzle that will tell you where her key is. She'll tell you her hobbies. What she did last night. What she is worried about. What she wanted to do as a child. Her hopes; her fantasies.

Two especially important things are- what does she think she does well but others might doubt it? For me, it's playing the flute. Or cooking. I think I do it well, but compliments always go a long way because I'm not very secure.

Then theres the insecuirty. You don't want to compliment her where she is sore. If she's fat, don't call her slim. You should look to reassure her that her problems are not so bad. To persuade her that it might even be a good thing.

What you do not want to do is compliment something she knows shes good at. Otherwise you're just being formal. You are now ordinary. You lack the X-ray vision of the charmer; you fail to see the important things.

You can't afford to be ordinary. You are the man who has come to take her back into her imagination. To forget the hustle bustle of daily life and get caught in the excitement of fantasy again. That's your mission.